The Last Dream

I was waiting , you were waiting, for this life to maybe somehow bring us back together..
I realised I have been waiting nearly longer than forever, so I gave up, life will not bring us back together, it was not our destiny, it just was not meant to be.

They say if you truly love someone you will set them free, letting go this is the key..
It took some time, but eventually I let you go, hoping one day you may come back to me.

I gave up, you left my thoughts, I moved on , that place you have in my heart will always be there , it will never be gone, but its been to long..

I live my life by a new song, don't worry about me I was weak, but now I'm strong, strong enough to carry on.

Last night once more I dreamt of you, couldn't help ask myself what for??

Essentially it's just a reminder that she was, is, and always will be a part of who you are and who you're going to be. You would be a different person without her imprint.

That doesn't mean though that you're still hung up on her. It's not a sign. It's not an obsession. It's just a fond or not-so-fond look backwards at where you've been.

So I just file it away with a brief smile and realize that dreams are just like photo albums.

In my dream I held you in a moment of your own weakness, in a moment of your own pain, shadows were around,listening to us speak, listening to you weep, your tears were flowing, the hug an care was that of me as no more than your friend, in this dream we knew we came to an end.. But I was there as your friend.. Another guy had your heart, I realised that forever we would be apart, but In this dream I was your friend, an in this dream with a smile I accepted the end.

I walked away knowing that ill probably never see you again, but it ended , an I said goodbye as your friend.

I smiled , I found peace , subconsciously u were there an gave me what I needed to leave..
This is the meaning of this dream, I believe.

When it comes to you an I (duet)

I need to leave I need to go, this is a pain I choose not to know,but I'm a at every show, my heart says yes, when it should say no. 

Something inside won't let go.. You wanna leave you wanna go, but I'm the only real happiness you know, so you keep coming back to my show.  

The words she speaks  

I feel like I also feel your pain,obviously not that I know how it feels,but I just feel I feel it to its like a knife in the chest when I see u hurting.

I'd just do anything to take that pain away i really care about u so much.

The words I speak

When I'm with u there's no pain there's no sadness

You are my sanity amongst all this madness

Here's my heart, you know u have this.

I speak what I feel, an it almost seems unreal, because this is exactly what u feel

when I'm without u its like I'm lost in a burning house an the smokes hurting my eyes burning my lungs tell me lies, tell me you don't want this, make me leave, lie to me. Then expose the truth,take away the pain, this is all insane the heat is burning me,

I know your not really leaving me

the truth u speak is that in your life you know I'm meant to be.

Out of guilt u feel u need to set me free, you feel this is what is best for me. 

The truth is you don't wanna live in a world without me.

The words are on the tip of your tongue, u wanna set them free, you wanna tell me .

That in many ways your heart longs for me

U can't tell me, the feelings are eating u from the inside, the bottled up deep inside you don't know how much longer they can hide, sooner or later they gonna explode on the outside.

In this world I live you have the power to make me the happiest person there's no one in this world that makes me happier just with their presence, yet there's no one that can hurt me more in this world.

The words she speaks 

I just want to b able to take that pain away!!!

I'd rather put all of that pain on me than you having to go through it..

I can honestly say I've never cared so much for someone.

I don't want u to b feeling like u are now,and u don't need to say sorry for anything!!its gonna b so hard not having u in my life,I never knew this would happen to us.

I wanna be with you today, but ill change my mind tomorrow.

I'm afraid, I can't escape, I'm addicted, but is this drug bad or good?

I wanna leave for everyone else I know I should

But in my heart I never would I'm selfish , I'm falling in love, leave you? I never could. 

Our eyes meet once more , our lips meet once more.. Our souls meet once more..

We move closer yet we need to move further

What is it you want ? Do what's best for you

Tell me to leave tell me this is not what u need

Its not possible an there's a reason

On our hearts we've planted a love seed, it growing, its showing

Yet we don't know where this is going.. 

How does this end , will it ever end , I guess its true a lover was once your friend.

I guess this is goodbye, wait no , we can't, its all a lie don't go don't leave, I need you.

See me soon, u got me feeling like a loony toon.

I'm crazy, we crazy, the risk the danger , but I never want u to be a stranger

We together today, an for now that's okay.

Inspiration

A messenger

A lover
An angel undercover

A man without a mask

Willing to rhymeFighting the time

To the goal

For the gold?

Or for the fame?

Maybe his life is to blame.

Here is a journal for your thoughts close your eyes into your mind let the words roll off your pen.

Unload the burden in your head.

I hope all your dreams come true, your heart deserves it.

….. Priscilla 2010 Crescent Clinic

Donovan is really kind, he’s great with rhymes, but he forgets my name sometimes, but its okay I don’t mind – its Priscilla.

The words above were written by a special girl with a heart filled with love.

I have spoken of Priscilla before, a girl I believed was sent as an angel to me.

She is the one that opened my eyes to what has now become a passion..

I know my writing doesn’t always cause satisfaction, I know behind every sentence there is always a different reaction these words are for you to relate, but these words also keep me out of a psychotic state, at first it was about the fame, but now that truly is not what its about, my spirit will forever live on through these words here on earth alive ill remain..

In a moment of pain, these words can prevent someone else from going insane..

Remember u have a choice , u can choose to read, or u can decide that my emotions are not what u truly need, these words one day someone will retrieve, it can open their eyes an help them believe, maybe receive just what they truly need.

I have entered a different reality.. I do believe that Christ helped me find my sanity.

I no longer take medication.

I am more sane than ever, my life is finally coming together.  

In my life I am at a better place than ever

Priscilla, my family, and a love for a girl was my inspiration.

Let me explain, I was mentally insane, I was a drug user, a narcotic abuser.

Narcotics causing me to enter a psychosis, to me it felt more like a demonic hypnosis..

I would see visions of what I believed that time to be a demon.

A black smoked shadow, fire for eyes , infecting my mind with all kinds of lies..

I remember those eyes.

It got bad, I started seen the demons in forms of people, there faces would re –arrange, their teeth long an sharp, the words id hear them utter would be strange.

You see today I express this all, I cant hide who I am today, nor who I was yesterday..

I just thank god that today im okay.

Priscilla I speak under correction was maybe from another country I never have seen her again, but her words on paper, lets me know that she wasn’t one of my delusional minds creator.

She was so kind, so beautiful, her heart so soft an truthful..

We will probably never meet again, but forever an always ill thank the lord for her again and again.

Then there was a girl I loved, if I speak truthfully the only girl iv truly loved.

This girl was my main inspiration, I blamed myself, my mind and my drug abuse for us coming to a end, today I don’t even have the honour of been her friend.

I promised myself that for her id come back stronger, come back the guy she loved with all her heart, unfortunately once I had done all I could, life had torn us to far apart, or maybe the truth is I just do not belong in her heart, yet iv always kept a special place in mine for her.

I seek no pity, do not mistake my words for that of self pity.

I understand that maybe her and I just weren’t meant to be, I just wish that I got one chance to let her again get to know the real me.

I can’t be sad its over, I need to be happy it happened.

I pray for her happiness, safety, I pray that she finds the real her, an where she is meant to be.

I have accepted that’s not with me, but I wont let that stop me from setting my feelings free.

So of all my inspiration what I still have and still know is my family.

My family has always been there for me, without them today I have no idea where id be.

I don’t think id be alive, they truly helped me survive.

So roughly without much depth that’s my story, thank you for reading these words , my words, my rhyme. Thank you for your time

Ps I was born in 1989

Me an my Dolphin

Life around me seems to be changing, I think iv changed my ways, left my past as yesterday, an hope an pray for better days.. 

Unfortunately at times, the heartache of yesterday creeps up on me, I fall into an unwanted emotion, I need to swim,but these tides, these tides of the ocean, sucking me in, ruining my motion.. 

I'm lost at sea hoping an praying , god send me a dolphin, God answers my prayer.. 

She guides me to the shore, I owe my life to this dolphin, but ill never see her again, she swims off into the ocean.

She's okay, the tide can never ruin her motion..

Years later I'm above the ocean, sailing off into the sunset, remembering this dolphin, the sun setting so beautiful on the ocean.. 

All of a sudden I hear an explosion.. 

The ocean turns from green an blue, to black an grey, I think back to that day, I reunite with her, the dolphin, the oil the explosion, is affecting my dolphin..

I guide her to where the sea is blue.. where the sea is green..

She's the most beautiful dolphin iv ever seen.. 

Its years later , but our eyes meet once more.. 

Am I the one in her moment of struggle she asked god for?? 

For years to come me an my dolphin would swim across the ocean, the ocean this our love potion.. 

Guarding each other, I'm her angel , she's mine, now that I'm here I now she's fine, now that she's here, I have nothing to fear.. 

God send me a dolphin.. 

We have a God who can heal all wounds and who can take any and all of our hurts and use them as precious gifts in our lives... He never wants for us to go through these things but he can bring our greatest glories out of our most painful trials. He loves you and he see's you. He see's the sorrow of your heart and he wants you to know that even in your darkest moment , he still has you. He's holding you together even when it feels like you are ripped to shreds.