My spirit cannot be sold

Let the truth be told, this is what im told, im lucky to have grown this old, my life could be like a game of poker , except I never fold.. My spirit could never be sold.

I have spent days alone in the cold, all my life iv believed id never grow old,  I have loved ones , that ill forever appreciate, I have people out there to which these words they relate, I have people out there to which my name they debate..

There’s people out there that really just couldn’t care less, I always strive to do my best, as iv said before I never did blend in with the rest , sometimes I think these rhymes are no more than a waste of my time, maybe a waist of yours but that’s fine, that’s okay maybe its these rhymes that give me the strength to get through the day.

You  see when I express what I feel ,when im not fake , but real , I somehow manage to deal with the way that I feel.

Words have great power they truly heal.

There’s a saying ‘sticks an stones can break my bones, but words will never harm me’

I’m sorry but that’s only true if you’re trying to charm me, I believe there’s emotional pain in this world that no physical pain could ever compare to, I believe there’s so many struggles everyday we need to get through.

I believe in every lie there’s a part that’s true, and if there’s not it might just become true this may not make sense to you, but somedays can be black and purple not only blue.

I would never seek anyone’s pity do not get the wrong impression, do not mistake my emotions  for a dude with depression, u never know , as I am writing this I may have an erection, or maybe I don’t , I am sure I often speak under correction , maybe I look back at my life an see it as a perfection.

Maybe that lithium injection caused this perfection , maybe I don’t own mirrors because I cant stand the reflection, so I saw visions before my eyes, maybe I saw myself as the devil in disguise , maybe I  believed I could fly an fell trying to touch the skies, maybe I reached for heaven , an found hell..

Yet today I think I may have a great story to tell…

Is the future something we predict?? Does this phrase cause the conflict??

If I am to expose it all , stand tall or again fall, walk before I even attempt to crawl , if I fail, an the days of once rain turn to hail…at least im leaving my trail , succeed or fail.

God grants me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, have u ever tried to take my words and re-arrange? Sound familiar or strange? GOD grants me the courage to change the things I can, there’s a hidden message, what do you see before thee? Sometimes you need to look back into whose history?

And Wisdom to know the difference, these words have been granted.

A seed has been planted never ever take my words for granted…!!!

I have been diagnosed with so many medical terms .. psyciatric terms , spiritual terms , in the past been told im mentally unstable.
years have gone by, im on no longer on medication, in the most amazing phsyical , spiritual ,mental situation..

Because my lord is my salvation

Through whose eyes??

Once upon a time there was a boy he lived a dangerous life … he experienced all kinds of heartache and betrayal.

He lost his mind in 2007 … it was such a pitty he had so much potential.

all his hopes all his dreams gone in a instant … he disappeared for 4 months .. it was rumoured that he went into a state of psychosis

It was rumoured that he would never find his way back to reality.. it was rumoured that he would spend the rest of his life in a home. A mental home.

Four months later this boy returned… doctors, psychiatrists, an nurses believing it was a miracle..

Nobody in the world understood what this boy had just been through.. Nobody understood the visions he saw before his eyes... Nobody understood the thoughts that ran through his mind.. The thoughts he believed …nobody saw the world as he did.. If only they could see through his eyes.. If only his eyes could tell a story..

It was said that he felt a demon with the name of Lucifer, watching him, talking to him, possessing his mind... Asking him to enter his world...

It was said that what he would dream would become a reality...

It was said his eyes changed from brown to yellow... it was said he couldn’t distinguish between who was alive an who was dead even if your living body was standing right in front of him … it was said he did not know who his own father was it was said that he did not know who his own mother was.. His mind was so confused an mentally abused...

When he returned he was not quite the same all he once had, was taken from him.. So much medication built his new personality... but this was not the boy everyone once knew…

Years went by he gave up on everything that once meant something to him... he gave up on life.. Turned to drugs. An it was only a matter of time before he went back to day one … psychiatric ward... this time... they had the suitable medication.. 2months later he found his sanity again...

The fact that he could not accept insanity as a illness led him down an even darker path... he could not come to terms with what had become of his life..

He needed an escape...

Heroin, meth, cat, weed, cocaine, alcohol, sex, this would become his escape.

In the year 2011 he lost the plot ..Slowly started losing his mind once more ... went into drug dealing... stealing

Selling possessions.. Living out of his car.. Fighting.. Getting robbed... Arrested.. Court... it had to come to a stop.. He was forced into rehabilitation...This experience would change his life forever...

In rehab this boy lost his mind .. Once again Lucifer  was back haunting him.. Haunting his thoughts... An appearing in forms of people in front his eyes in the dark of the night..

He got sent away to high care psychiatric facility... An back to rehab there after...

On night in the strangest form he was lead into reading his bible... He came to the realisation that though every bad moment an angel was there god was there.. All his memories came storming back... he realised that in his 1^st psychosis... he went to church... And a week later he did what everyone saw as a miracle came back to reality... he knew that after all he had been through he should be living in a home..Or better off be dead after all the danger he put himself in.

This boy woke up the next day.. An he was healthy.. Had a completely new outlook on life ..

He othed o turn his life around as he did many times before but the difference was this time he believed he would.

This boy, became a man , this man is me !!!

When it comes to you and I

When it comes to you an I, the odds are stacked against me.. The chances are so slim, the lights seem so dim, but the light, it shines, its there, its a pitty life seems so unfair, iv been in this situation before, but not with someone nearly as special as you..
When I'm sad , when I'm feeling blue, I turn to you. U give me the strength to carry on , your always there when everything else seems gone , how can me holding you feel so right yet be wrong..
How do I carry on when in the future u may be gone .. When I vision a future I see u there , I want u there, people like u come by once in a lifetime your that rare..
Do u see me there the way I see u there?
Is this question I ask even fair?
Is what I say really okay?
Is this fair on you.. Do u deserve these feelings these emotions I'm putting you through, should I walk away for you to be okay??
Is that what ud prefer me to do..
I don't know anymore ..
Everything inside me may be longing for you, but is this the part , where u tell me I don't belong in your heart, an I'm not worthy of yours..

How could I ever ask u to sacrifice it all, I can't do that, all the odds are stacked against me, am I crazy to have even went this far, this deep, I'm speaking to you while u asleep..

Is this hill just to steep,.. Does this end in u walking away, or will u stay, I new what I may be getting myself into from the very first day.. But never saw myself feeling this way..

I hold you so tight, under the stars that shine so bright, it may be wrong but it feels so right, I touch ur soft skin , gently appreciate every soft spot, feel u close,breathe in an out.. Feel ur warmth from the inside out..

Think to myself, how can I be wrong , how can she be wrong, how can this be wrong, how can what we feel be wrong, how can we just ignore this, in a way
it takes the piss

Something we have together , that some will never find in a lifetime lasting forever ..
Fait shows us we destined together ..
U an I, fait does not lie.. Every time u look me in the eye.. We both know why.

No longer worthy - contradictions

All I try to do is be there, try show u that I care , u take my kindness for granted, like in your mind a grudge has been implanted its part of you, I don't know what it is I did to you, but okay, I'm done , now I'm really leaving you.

I won't be here when one day u come running back, if u think I will, u sure to be smoking crack, because iv literally just turned my back. Don't smile at me when u see me in public , don't be fake an talk to me , rather look through me , pretend u can't even see me .
Like I am to you , your also dead to me .
The person I once knew , she outgrew you.
She was never shallow, she had different values , know your just one of many statues .

I moved on , I knew we were long gone , yet I tried showing you just a little mutual respect, something I know regret, because it was never mutual.

I stood up for you, when u wernt even there..
U did the opposite , I thought it was unfair..
but at last its opened my eyes to show me just how little u actually care.

I became your biggest mistake, u became nothing more than something in my heart that would ache.
The aching is now gone , so long. Be gone.

U see the person you are when u see me to my face , an the person u are when I'm not around , they don't match an seem lost without a trace .

So I don't wanna know either of them . Your not my lover , your not my friend , these feelings are dead.
I should never have let you get into my head , I'm over it know though, for once an for all u can slip ill never again be there to catch u when u fall.

U don't deserve a goodbye , an in public your not worthy of a hello or as u say it, hi.
goodbye little beatle fly away nice an high don't come back , ud be on crack.

Enough to last forever

Out of every word I have ever written, out of every rhyming feeling…

Tonight as I lay awake staring above at the ceiling, saying a prayer..

Telling god this is not fair, this thought I cannot bare, these feelings are the hardest to share…

The thought of been without u has brought me many tears over the past few years..

To tell the truth with or without you, you gave me the strength to face my fears

U see, I truly believed we were meant to be…

I can imagine that what happened to me in 2007 2010 an 2011 could be part of the reason you’re staying away …

I cant explain 2 u how much my life changed 2007 April 17 the very 1st day..

I was confused, because of the amount of drugs I abused, something in my mind fused..

I lost my mind.. 4 months is what It took to find…

Sometimes in life I wish u could push play, pause an rewind…

Id go back to the day I met you, I hope u wont mind:)

In you, I had It all, you were always there to catch me when I was about to fall..

I know you’ve moved on with your life, I can tell u know there is a guy out there that is going to have the most amazing wifeJ…

U once asked me how will it benefit me to see u , an tonight I realised that’s just it ..

How could I be so full of shit ... love is not about one, but two...

And seen me would sadly not benefit you …

I guess iv said this is the last, but I never seem to manage to forget the past...

But tonight I came to this realisation... I was lucky enough to spend time with you, in my eyes gods greatest creation..

Maybe one day you’ll think of me, realise u were my great love an hold a key ..

A key to my heart .., even though we apart..

Maybe ull try contact me that day... until then if that day is ever to come I will stay away…

These words I othe to try obey

Anyway I guess what’s most important is what im about to say... Every night in my bed id lay... Every night to the lord id pray... Hoping you’d come back to me some day...

I could never give up on you... When I told u id love you forever those words were true...

You deserve the best, u have a heart of gold, I see beyond your disguise... I apologise for all my lies...I’m speaking to you the amazing girl that I see when I look into your eyes ...

When I went to rehab I told u you’d be my motivation. No more procrastination...

I turned my life around im clean.. Im reaching places iv never been ..

I hope that life brings u the happiness u deserve... And I want u to know u strong enough to get through that moment when life throws u a curve…

Ur special, your rare, im not around but ill always care

So I guess this is my final few words …

Every moment we shared together, is more than enough to last me forever...

SOCIETY

There are times in life where you feel as though all the doors are shutting in your face

U finding it so hard to understand this place

This place called earth, this world we live in it all seems so unfair

To find kindness seems so rare, you’re crying out for help yet no one comes to your aim, you feel alone all on your own, an wonder how long this feeling will remain.

You’re taking strain, in your own mind it feels as though you’re going insane.

We pay our taxes; pay our debts, as if we have so much money to burn...

My problems, your problems, it seems to be our only concern.

This world that is in recession is causing more than just financial depression.

Its resulting in homicide, suicide, countries to collide, all due to financial aggression.

In this society we can’t help feel anxiety, there’s no where to turn, without us realising it’s these struggles that help us learn, sometimes u have to rely on only yourself in order to earn...

We need to rise above all the corruption, before its results in a metaphoric nuclear eruption… we need to stand together as one.. not their one , not their united , our united , your united , don’t allow yourself to be unsighted .. Open your eyes, don’t fall for the disguise, do u really think they care about all the tears the world cries...

Do you think they truly believe in the heavens beyond the skies...?

They say time fly’s, money never sleeps, the non living always speaks...we need to be careful what we preach, there’s rules , regulations borders we cannot breach, its not always easy to practice what we preach, learn instead of teach..

These words may be all I got, I may not have the widest vocabulary, I may not earn the highest salary, but I do believe in Christianity, an reality before an after insanity, im not afraid to face reality, nor am I afraid of a life of insanity … its easy to forgive, not as easy to forget... hard to look back without regret , yet live a life in debt , pay your debt , forgive your debt , rely on you , be you , be true.

One last chance

Honestly why can I not stop missing you subconsciously, everywhere I go it seems your haunting me.

Your presence, your memories like drugs they forever taunting me.

In my dreams I swear your haunting me, like a relapse you’re taunting me.

You’re not even trying, but some days without you it feels as though im emotionally dying.

You no longer care, you no longer here, life without you is close to my greatest fear.

You’ve left me with this pain, you left me with your love running through my every vain

You left me thinking of you every moment it starts to rain.

You left me at my weakest you left me when I literally went insane.

An even though don managed to come back again...

You never will, you can’t stand the thought of me, the sight of me...

Feels as though u fear me, I guess you hate me, I guess I can’t blame you.

I guess your right I no longer know you; maybe I no longer love you.

You’re no longer the girl I once new, as this girl is not you… but somewhere deep inside she lives in you.

An unfortunately for me ill always believe in you... Maybe this is just a psychotic obsession, causing never ending depression..

I guess your love taught me a valuable lesson…

The person that you love most can chew you up an spit you out, leave you forever living in doubt, I ask myself is this really what true love is about.

People tell me that your far from the girl I once knew , people tell me they don’t know what’s happened to you, an that I am a now a level above you, but in my thoughts I respond .. I still love you.

Im clean. Im sane. no longer on medication no longer living a life of procrastination.

I live a good life, yet it feels empty without you, no words could ever be more true.

Iv let go of all my pride, these feelings I once tried so hard to hide... im exposing them one by one , I wish I could go back to those moments when we were both young , those times we shared were so fun, ill never stop believing you were the one.

Iv allowed myself to appear vulnerable, to so many im sure I look weak an they don’t want to hear these words I speak, these emotions I write, but truth is I love you and you’re the only one that gives me the strength to put up a fight against the darkness of the night until the sun comes out and I get to see the light.

I know you wish id just forget you, an like you do me, start to regret you.

Truth is I could never ever forget you , as you’ve asked I will stay away yet pray for a day, a day where I get to hear you say , everything will be okay , a day where you’ll return an never again go away..

You no longer here, you no longer care, u left me with an everlasting tear, life without you is close to my greatest fear.

Im here, I care, you’re worth this tear, and for you ill keep facing this fear.

Im always here.

Id do anything for one last chance

Recovery

They say life is a discovery, u never thought ud have to go through recovery..

Is this a fight against time or is it a matter of waiting for the sunshine???
Some may find these words poetic, others may find these words pathetic.

Trapped in a home, at times u may feel as though u facing this dark scary world on your own.
Freedom may be what u crave, yet that freedom is what may send u to ur grave..

Trying to make sense of these words is unreal, as I was psychotic when I wrote this never knew if id ever heal.

Whether the clock went clockwise or anti clockwise , my lies could no longer be my disguise I needed to set myself free , an I guess honesty an letting go would be the key.

Maybe I did have to come to recovery, to find my discovery…

To get clean to feel serene... To start a new life... HP

NEVER COMING BACK

No words I rhyme, no words I write, no matter how hard I fight, no matter how much I use to do wrong an now do right, ill never bring u or her back, I hate this crap.

So I put on a track listen to rap, every song relates to her, relates to you, ill never forget you, ill never forget her, these visions could never be a blur, they tell me to keep writing, they tell me to not give up,keep fighting.

Like a dog this love is unconditional, my stories my rhymes they fact, I wish they were fictional , I wish I could retrace my steps, I wish I could bump my head an get rid of all these regrets, I wish I could repay all my debts..
I ask god for forgiveness for all my wrongs, people tell me be strongs..
Don stop listening to these songs , I tell them hit me, bump my head so hard that I 4get, please do it for me.
They say your past makes u what u are today,what am I today?.. Give my heart back, I need full red, not black..
Throw me in the ocean when its blue , I hate this shit, I miss you , feels like noone hears,seems like know one cares that I stood up wiped away all these tears faced my fears ..
I know u do , u saw me through, I came back a new me , used one as motivation , for what, I came back an she was no where to be found , I may aswel be 6 foot underground, guess I kind of am, metaphoricall.

My greatest fear is what I see when I look in a mirror an see a reflection of me, scared to lose my own sanity, but sometimes I wish I could go back there , lose my mind once more,escape this world , go to my own special reality, leave earths gravity, there where knowone can pull me down, where I don't care whether I smile or frown, u called me crazy , u called me psyco, u said im insane, u said don I love you, I love you bru, dude I love you.
You know what's crazy, people turn , they forget what u helped them learn, u become nothing more than as forgotten part of their past, when its the memories of them that will forever last, the greatest memories u got, an u left like something they forgot, I talk to you, I know you hear, I know u here, maybe u can't respond, maybe u can, but we have this bond, I'm so thankful to you, an all u helped me through.

I'm so thankful to her, an for what she once saw in me, an for giving me something know one could, making me feel something know one ever could, thank u for been there for me like know one ever would, ill never forget u or for what u stood, our times were good, our times were great, I still feel as though this is not your fate, this is not my fate,can't wait to see u at heavens gate, maybe one day she'll let me take her on a date, only in my dreams I guess.. I love you , god bless

NEVER GIVE UP

U wake up to a new day , u may be feeling happy , but u afraid that feeling is on the verge of going away.. U smile from ear to ear , not knowing what’s around the corner, or what’s near, everyone has their fear , it may be silence , it may be violence , it might be the noise screaming in their ear..

A moment of depression can turn to a moment of aggression.. U try everyway to escape the pain but before  know it …
Its cold an its starting to rain u think about jumping on the nearest train following the train track an never coming back..

U regain control realise that there is so much purpose to life..
Why walk around places where u need to carry a knife
Ur hands are clean
Even though u might have been at the scene
Why live a sad life in danger
Why trust a complete stranger
Life can fly by whether your sober or high
U need to spread ur wings an fly before u emotionally die..
There’s no need to make the angels cry
Instead let them give u the wings to fly
Never give up an never say goodbye …HP

YOUR TRUE COLOURS

At times its hard to express what u truly feel
letting it all out is the only way to heal.

keeping ur emotions inside due to your pride , those feelings which u try to hide, will eat u up inside.

Unfortunately ur past does have a way of coming back to haunt you, demons may taunt you, lead u into temptation , put u in that unwanted situation .

Knowdays the practice of prayer , is so rare , asking for help from above , not realising u live in a world with so much love .
Angels live on earth , there's been many around u since the day of birth.
Unfortunately demons can come in the form of an angel , an angels can come in the form of an demon .

Do not be so quik to judge , because of an expired grudge.
Do not be afraid to express what u feel, let it out this is the way to heal.
Your secrets , ur shame, ur guilt, the people u blame , the pain , the days with endless rain , ur heart that's forever taking strain , ur not alone someone else out there feels the same.
They can take u by ur hand guide u out the rain, to the sunshine show u that everything will be just fine.
Its ur life not mine , but the sun will eventually shine.

For every action there is a reaction , for everything good there's bad.
Before u can be happy u need to be sad, with failure later comes success.
Never give up always give ur best.

Be you , no matter what u going through.
Show ur true colours, they beautiful, they you.

IF LOVING YOU IS CRAZY IM INSANE

I love this world , i love this world ..
I love this world because your in it 
A world without you would be a world with darkness
A world without you would be a world of sadness..
Many may call this love madness
Your the defintion of beauty , i love you truely, absolutely.
This love is unconditional, fact not fictional, i am not dillusional, yes this love is unusual.
Its one of a kind ,hard to find, its definately not blind..I cant stop this love please dont mnd.
Words are so deep, when based on pure emotion, theres more than one meaning.
Open your eyes to what your seeing, open your heart to what your feeling..
People may call me crazy , insane.. yet ill always be the same
i do carry great shame, yet u still carry my flame, i know that im to blame , but if loving you is crazy im insane.
I have this vision where we will be standing together, in the perfect place, staring at ur perfect face.
both knowing we will be staring into the eyes of forever.
You still carry my flame , if loving you is crazy , im insane :)

This love i cant describe

Love is rare, love is not always fair , love is about more than showing how much u care.
Love is wanting to share, always been there , giving your all even though theres a chance u may fall, love stands above all.
love is powerfull, love is truthfull, my love for you is fruitful.. the word i just used is not suitable..
My love for you is immovable, in my eyes your so beautiful , yet again these words are not suitable.
This love inside is so hard to explain, in my thoughts you always remain, because of you i will never be the same, this love is to blame.
My words are for you not for the fame.
The moments we share together will last me forever, with love you can never say never.
Ill love you forever , through cold an warm weather ..
your the good amongst the bad , the smile after im sad.
your the light in the dark of the night , your love gives me the strength to fight..
your my morning sunlight, ur the moon an stars at night .
your the air i breathe , the sparkle in my eye , i mean every word ..
your the truth in every lie.
your the wings that help me fly, ur the angel thats always there when i start to cry.
Im no better than the next guy, but u make me comfortable when i get shy..
your the apple of my eye, u lift me higher than the sky ..
i dont need to ask why ..
I love you thats no lie..
The words above are not suitable, i love you ... this is provable..

confused amuzed abused

Truth or dare .. Tempt me , I don't care.
Iv got love to share , pain to spare , words that are rare, feelings that appear unfair..
These words I create , are 4 the world to relate, these words that I feel , are the truth , I'm the living proof , this is real an what I feel.

These words are straight from my mind , I don't pause or rewind , I lost it once it took time to refind.

Psycosis helped me discover this new alphabet , visions , illusions , dreams I would never 4get .. I live for today , dream for tommorow , the truth can bring great sorrow.

DeceiPt comes with a reciePt, a silent p for proof, these words are the truth.

skelotens in the closet , should I unlock it? .. Or keep the key in my pocket . . ?
Set them free , is this the key ?? Whose watching me ?? .. This is not a show , just how I flow .

U see words are powerful , they can make u appear vulnerable an weak ,.. Easy to write , yet hard to speak.. My words are not those of depression , its emotion an sometimes aggresion , to offend u is not my intension , do not get the wrong impression.

These words may leave u confused , maybe amuzed , mentally or emotionally abused, or it may just leave you happy not blue , these words are for you.

This is my vocabulary

I don't need to use a dictionary , my mind is my vocabulary , I don't earn the highest salary.
At times I wonder who will marry me .

These words are my creation.
I don't have the highest education.
So if this is my situation , I'm still grateful an show appreciation.
My problem is procastination , love an sometimes a bit of infatuation.

Ok, stop, let's get intense , these words ... Do they make sense ?? ..

Have u ever looked in the mirror , an seen nobody there?? .. Not literally , just seen nobody there, stared into your own eyes seen evil an lies , have u turned ur life around an dreamed of reaching the skies ?? ..
Have u ever seen truth in ur lies ?? ..
Have u ever made an angel cry , have u ever asked God why?? ..
Asked him for wings to help u fly ?
Have u ever seen true love die ??
Have u ever stayed sober after been high?
have u ever faced ur greatest fear ? ..

Well its time to stand up, wipe away the tears ,an face ur fears.
listen to the angels that whisper in ur ear
They truly are here

Look back in the mirror , its no longer a thriller , its you , its me , this is who I see.

Have faith in ur vocabulary.

Ok know that was deep , its nearly 3am I should go to sleep .

Find ur rainbow

So I write this rhyme , maybe from now till the end of time..

I know at the end ill be doing just fine..

So like everyone else iv emotionally felt so much pain, iv metaphorically seen days with endless rain..

My hearts taken strain.. in my own mind iv gone insane ..

Iv been that white boy that’s not afraid to sit alone on the cape town train ..

Iv stared death in the eye I don’t need to describe this u decide whether its true or a lie..

Iv caused my family great pain im sure many can say the same…

The hard part is to get over the shame admit that its only u to blame ..

Get up start a new life all over again..

Its that moment u stare into the mirror a reflection of who, u ask if that’s really you

Disgusted with what I see behind those eyes .. it’s a horror .. but u , the villain never dies

So they say pain that doesn’t kill u makes u stronger is life really worth living ay longer.

In a moment of insanity u turn to Christianity.. GOD will always be there for u no matter what u going through ..

Treasure all u have, u never know what uv got till its gone.. its only the beginning its not the end .. find ur place u do belong..

Be strong, ur pain is not in vain .. there’s always sunshine after rain ..

Find ur rainbow…

Not for the fame

There's a feeling a thought I need to express , I love that to some my words do impress..

I don't write to be the best , I write because maybe my mind just doesn't blend in with the rest.

See my mind , my thoughts, they always racing, the letters tend to lose their spacing.

Fame , an signings is not what I'm chasing.
There's a bigger picture , I write for those that care , I write for those that are always there.

I could never run out of words to put on paper.
I may be the instigator, maybe ull see me later.
I know I have more than one hater .
I don't mind those that hate
I have love for those who can relate.
I have love for those who appreciate.

I once had a dream of been a rapper , a writer , a firefighter , dreams change, it sounds strange , I had a brother who died u wanna see his name take my words an re-arrange.

I no longer live with regret , somethings are truly hard to forget.

Don is inlove with the alphabet
A B C , God set me free , E F G , from addiction an insanity .. H I J K .. To my God I will always pray .. L M N O P .. My religion is christianity.. Q R S T .. Open ur eyes to what you see U V W X Y I'm an ordinary guy .. Z .. Don is goin to BED..

For the broken hearts

Does true love only come along once in a lifetime , will u ever again be mine.
How can I feel this way , when your doing just fine.

So tired of missing you , after all uv put me through why do I still love you , why can I not get over you .

Its so hard to not compare u with every girl for wich I start to care , I ask myself is this fair , your not even there , but these feeling for you I can no longer bare.
I miss the way we use to stare , I miss the way you use to care , I miss the moments we use to share .

Finding reasons to hate you is so hard when every song I hear relates to you, finding reasons to hate you is so hard when every place I go to , is a reminder of you, after all I put u through , I guess I don't deserve you , if only you knew what its like living without you an the struggles I know have to go through.

Wondering if there's better than u out there , wondering if secretly u still care.
why did u enter my heart for us to be apart , why did we even start , was it for me to learn what it feels like to have a broken heart.

How is anyone ever gonna put these pieces back together , how can I ever look at another girl an tell her this will be forever.
If she's out there , where is she.
I need her to help me an fix what u tore apart, my heart.

U crushed me so deep , I can't sleep , when ur the one I wanted to keep.
I play movies of us together in my head every night as I lay in my bed .
I pray for your safety an happiness, when I'm in so much pain an u couldn't care less.
I gave u my trust , know I have no choice to forget about love an only think of lust.

Don't wanna be touched by knowone but you , even though I'm trying to find so many reasons to hate you , its so hard when I love you.

These feeling are wrong , so wrong , where do I belong, I guess I need to write my own song.

U NEED TO GO THERE

This may not mean much to many , my words are free , don't cost a penny
Loved by some ,hated by many . .
Do u know me or do u see me , do u hear me or do u feel me .

I'm not signed , I'm not your find , look the other way , an let me play.
My weapon is my mind , my words may condridict , cause conflict , the future is what u predict .

Demons come an go , this is what I know...
This is how I flow , there's so much noise in silence , so much love in violence . .
Black , red an white , these colours are the ones wich I ignite , rather love than fight..

Pain is a feeling that u overcome , pain is a feeling u make numb.
When all the doors slam in ur face , an u no longer wanna face this place
When u wanna leave without a trace , not suicide , for that there's to much pride. Just leave run an hide , find someone in which u can confide.
Find a place where u as valuable as a an ace , vital to a pair , u need to go there,u need to go there

Become one

People are so quick to judge , .. Carry a grudge, speak behind your back , look down on you, they don't know what ur going through, yet they believe they better than you.

In my eyes we are all equal, although sometimes we are all capable of evil, an capable of good, sometimes in this world we live its so hard to be understood, so they say they part of a brotherhood a sister hood, I never really knew where I stood...

I think I'm in between , I hope u understand what I mean

We are all one race, trying to survive in this place , so on my inner arm it says one tribe, one blood, one love one people , that means we are all equal , on my wrist it says become one , because u can still strive to become number one , become one with another be it ur sister , ur brother or ur lover.

On my ankles it says 4ever young , no matter how old , u can always be young , ur name can live on,no matter how long uv been gone...forever young The words of a Gemini .. I can c the stars I'm reaching for the north star In the night sky..

What do u see when u look me in the eye , what do u see when u look yourself in the eye ..

Are u living the truth or a lie, it actually doesn't matter whether ur sober or high .. U can still spread ur wings an fly .. As long as u try, what's the point of trying if u not trying ur best, do u wanna blend in with the rest?

Do u wanna lead or follow, are ur feelings hard to swallow ? ..

Become one with the world , ur neighbour, respect yourself , watch ur own behaviour , be brave , don't dig ur own grave.

Together we can make the difference

At times something tells me to pick up a pen an paper

A few moments later an I'm running out of paper

Actions speak louder than words
I guess in someways this is true, in the end I guess it all depends on you.

These words are not me crying out to you
My god is with me when I'm feeling blue
Or struggling with something I'm going through.

If you don't like what I have to say , that's your opinion an that's okay.

Last night I was sitting in a moment of silence
I peacefully looked around an saw our world rappidly turning to violence.
In this life we have all made mistakes,we have all experienced different kind of heartaches

Sometimes u doing whats right is all it takes.

This may sound confusing, but we are all at war an at this moment the hero is losing.
If you don't like what I have to say , that's your opinion an that's okay.

One person , one soul , is so small compare to the rest of the universe , but one person can be a blessing instead of a curse.

So this is our verse

Our father in heaven
Hallowed be your name
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread
Forgive us our debts
As we also have forgiven our debtors
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from the evil one.

WHY CHASE THE LOVE YOU ONCE HAD

Iv made mistakes , iv experienced many kind of heartaches.

I chased a girl all over the universe, she put me under a spell, wich turned to a curse.

I was to busy comparing that I didn't notice any other girl staring , I didn't care how beautiful she looked or what she was wearing.

I was obsessed with one kind of love , wich I believed was gods gift from above.

This love I craved , turned to obsession, I may speak under correction, but I was looking in the wrong direction.

I no longer look back at what I had , instead I got this kind of closure I'm know happy an no longer sad.

I look forward to what the future may hold, there's a greater love out there, another story is yet to be told.

I use to think it was unfair an that her love was so rare but she doesn't care , so why should I try give her what I have to share.

There's a beautiful love out there , an in time , she will be mine.

There's more than one kind of love, my past loves were never true , but my future love , I'm waiting for you : )

Life

Life brings joy an life brings pain
Life brings sun , an life brings rain
Life brings tears , aswell as fears..

Life brings love , and words from a god above .. Life brings truth , life brings lies .. Life brings laughs .. Life brings cries .. Life brings blue an grey skies .. Life brings hello's an goodbyes..
If u could see through my eyes , past the defensive lies .. Forget about all the why's .. See through my disguise ..see a story , that maybe one day ends with glory, who can do this for me ??

Iv caused so much pain , iv spent so many days alone in the coldest never ending rain , iv lost my mind and went insane , I still somehow came back again , I have no regret , I have noone but myself to blame ..

I look up to the stars an say a prayer knowing my god almighty is always there , his here today , his here tommorow, his love is not something I need to borrow its eternal , not like words that can be removed from a journal, someone once told me god will always look after his children , u see his always looked after me , his love has set me free, his guided me in an out of insanity , he helped me understand christianity .. He showed me a different kind of reality , he helped me understand what's real , he showed me , its not only what u can physically feel , we all sin , we all make mistakes , its part of human nature , but life is controlled by one creator.

Repression

Maybe words is my form of release, with every word the intensity will increase , with every word the pain may decrease , If words are my only possesion, atleast it stands by me in a moment of repression,wanna know the definition?? ..repression plays a major role in mental illness an depression, an attempt by an individual to repel ones own desires, know that u know the definition, let me continue speaking fact no fiction, u see , I have battled through addiction , success was my decision ,yet I have this vision, my words are causing so much confusion , iv seen lucifer as an illusion, so as u sit there reading this feeling amused know that ur actually so confused, in my mind iv been places not for that of a human being , almost two years clean, if only u knew where iv been , if u could see through these eyes, if they could tell a story, about pain an glory, forget the why's , forget the lies, forget the painfull cries, take off my diguise, an see all my goodbyes.

Through this all , ill always stand up after I fall , I can do the impossible, I seek no pitty, I am really witty , iv got a mind like no other , I love my father my sisters an my mother , I have more than one non-genetic brother , I have felt the feeling of love , iv felt the power of my god above, I still feel my guardian angels love , I can be the kind of friend that will stand by u to the end , aslong as I'm not something u just trying to lend.. These words u need to comprehend..

Stars in my eyes

Every night I take a moment look up to the skies , I see stars in my eyes , this vision above is a vision I love , I wanna reach up an touch a star , but they to far, so beautiful that's what they are .

Stars are the light in the dark of the night, look at them they shine so bright, surrounding the moon , it will be light soon.
They will not be visible in the light of the day, I love to look up at the stars at night while I pray, I like to thank the lord for the beginning of a new day.

There's a north star in the night sky, there's no stars beyond that star I wonder why, I like to believe that every star represents the life of someone,an that they are still here , an we should not fear, an when the day sky is crystal clear they on earth they are near, they are here.

I have this wild imagination , I believe in god an this been his creation, in this universe I am so small ,yet his the one that see's me when I fall,an helps me stand tall, his with me through it all.

So as I look up to the the skies Im thankful for the stars in my eyes.

333

These numbers follow me , these numbers 333.. Everywhere I turn I see , the numbers 333 .. Half way to hell ?? .. Is this what I smell?? .. 333 .. Why are u stalking me .. If I am to quote numerology, the numbers 333 ..

This sign indicates that your Spirit Guides agree with your thoughts and feelings and could be interpreted as a Cosmic 'Yes!' to questions you have asked or ideas you may have." ~ Spiritual Path

"333 is the sign that the ascended masters are working closely with you. You have called on them and they have heard your prayer. If you are seeing this number repeatedly on clocks or license plates it is a sign that the the highest of beings are around you now."

"The Ascended Masters are near you, desiring you to know that you have their help, love, and companionship. Call upon the Ascended Masters often, especially when you see the number 3 patterns around you. Some of the more famous Ascended Masters include: Jesus, Moses, Mary, Quan Yin, and Yogananda.

These numbers 333 which keep following me , iv decided to let u be, an through my eyes ull c .. How to unlock a door without a key , enter another dimension without a drug .. C visions before ur eyes , c truth in all the lies .. Why can we not hear the angel that cries , why can we never see the devil in his disguise ..why are these numbers before my eyes ..
What do I have to share that is so rare , if u hear my prayer , if ur the answer to my prayer is this ur way of showing me ur there .. Showing me u care , showing me that even though life is not fair .. Iv got words an love to share.. though my emotions are the hardest to bare ? .. U give me the strength , like oxygen when I need air..
These words I release .. Breathe them out .. I speak softly , my feeling ill never shout .. Stay cool an calm .. Try to cause no harm .. I feel an angel , an angel, ur on my upper arm

One action can result in a chain reaction

Here we go again , here we go again .. Can u remember way back when ??way back when we were so young?? everything seemed so easy, life was so much fun, everyday we would be happy playing in the sun ..
Those days , those days are they really done ?? ..
So much responsibilities,so many in securities, in today's society, we can't help feel anxiety, the world we know is changing, the roles we play are re-arranging ..
Tomorrow is another day, will the skies be blue or grey?
Do u understand what I'm trying to say?
A metaphor , maybe my words are a bore, maybe you've heard it all before..
Do u ever feel u just wanna quit? .. Is life just one big trip? .. or is life just a 'dead end' ? .. Are rules meant to be broken, or are rules there for u to bend, have truer words ever been spoken??..
Have ur demons been re- awoken?
Has ur heart truly been broken?

So many answered, and unanswered questions ..
So many mirror reflections..
When u look carefully into those reflections u unfortunately forced to see so many imperfections..
In life u forced to accept rejections ..
Your sent in so many different directions..
Sometimes u feel so lost, sometimes u feel found.. Sometimes u feel its better to be underground ..sometimes u look around .. an appreciate every little sound ..

U do what u do, sometimes u have to forget everyone else an do what's best for you, best for your life , best for your happiness.. Think of only you , these words are so true ..
So when u feeling sad or blue , do something good for you ..
When u feeling a satisfaction , show your loved ones some compassion , don't let this world be a distraction , your one action can cause a chain reaction..

Make a change, make a difference, to the rest of the world your small, but u can make a difference.

Some days

Some days are hard, some days are easy, some days u wanna give up, quit, u feel as though you've just had enough of it.

What is it? 'It' is all of this shit ..its like someone went to the toilet was in a rush , forgot to flush..
An left the shit smell of hell... in your life ..

So u feel a little sorry for yourself , go through a moment of depression , allow that depression to turn to aggression , allow that aggression to turn into an obsession ..

What kind of obsession? One of self pity? .. Why is this feeling so shitty??

U wake up to a new day, walk to store, drag your feet across the floor, buy yourself some toilet spray..
Empty the can, finally the shitty smell goes away..

Its a new day, everything seems okay, u look back to the moment u felt like giving in , felt like quitting.. U learn that where you are today, was worth the pain of yesterday..

The smell is good , you've overcame the obstacles u never thought u could, u did things u never thought u would.. U learned that sometimes u can be a super hero fighting the bad to reach the good.

In life not everything is meant to be understood.. not everything comes with ease , its doesn't immediately help to pray to god even when u go on your knees .. Even when u beg an say please, yet he hears your prayer , he really is there , to you it may all seem unfair , maybe extremely hard to bare, but he is there , an he has the best answer to your prayer, he will guide u there , he will get u there .

When the time is right, there's always sunshine after the dark of the night.. Never give up the fight, do what's right.. Don't loose sight, till u find the light.

Thankful

These words keep flowing , on an on , some stay , some are gone , some fall away, some remain , I don't mind, maybe I am to blame , I'm not afraid to speak my shame , I'm not afraid to express my pain, u can leave , ill return again an again , I remain.

Some know the true me , some know where iv been , an what iv seen, I may be clean , but how serene ?? ..
Some are on my team, some are my opponent, some understand me , some can't stand me..
That's okay, I'm happy for those that are here today, those that understand the words I spray.

There's peace , there's war, when u feed the truth, when u show them the proof, when u express it all, they don't like the truth, they fight the truth , avoid the truth , truth is no one wants to face the truth.

Everyone's better than the next, everyone's problems are bigger than the rest, its a fight to prove whose felt the most pain, as if its about been the best.

I look at my life , I look back to the past , I look at the present , iv had a good life , a blessed life, yes there's been good, there's been bad, but I'm thankful for the life iv had, I'm thankful for the life I have.

I'm thankful to the people that have been a part in my life, the people in my life, the people that have left my life, I'm thankful to the people that have yet to enter my life, I'm thankful to the lady that will one-day be my wife.

They say good things don't last forever , yet some of us stand together , an try make the good last forever ..
Just as good things don't last forever , when we stand together we can stop the bad from lasting forever ..

What we do today, can inspire, light a little fire, lift someone a little higher, make tomorrow a better day, if we are blessed enough to see another day.
Ever since I was young I found it hard to find my way , but I found my way till today.

HIDDEN MESSAGE

I never quite know how to start a rhyme , but these words I possess belong to me, they mine.. My very own possession, releasing suppression, trying to control my aggression ..escaping moments of depression .. Its like an infection, hence why I try express affection, happy go lucky everyday.. To my lord I always pray.. Never letting what others say affect my way..

Releasing every emotion,writing in a rhyming motion ink been my venomous potion..
These words I express may be deep, but when I set them free, I can fall asleep..
No need to see a shrink when this is my way of expressing what I think, expressing what I feel, at this moment I'm behind the steering wheel, as I turn to the left, go around this bend, knowing at any moment my life could end ,I'm lucky to have more than one friend.. Yet I could still reach a dead end .. Put my car in reverse .. Go back.. Put my car in 1st ..

U see in life sometimes u need to reverse before u can reach 1st ..

So as u read this u may be looking down on me, frowning at me, smiling at me, but where am I going , what are these words don is showing, what do they mean, what has he seen ..

So yes my words are deep to qoute a girl with which I like to speak.. Its good to be deep, just don't drown ,yet I always smile after i frown, I'm always happy after I feel down.. I'm always okay .. Never asking 4 advice, always giving it.. Never asking 4 emotional assistance, love an affection has become a resistance.. Always there 4 you, where are u when struggles I go through.,. Truth is the advice u give , is hardest to take.. This is my mistake.. Pain is something that will come an go .. Yet it helps u grow into the person u look in the mirror an know.. C I use to look at my reflection..feel no affection.. Regret what I see.. Not believing this vision was me..
Till god set me free his always there 4 me
Can u see the hidden message

Beneath the eyes

Hmmmm how to start.. The words I'd like to put together seem so far apart.. So let me try start by speaking from my heart..

I look around, the world keeps moving round an round.. U never really know if all ur love ones are safe an sound.. How many innocent are underground.. ??
So I try live every moment as if its my last, I try so hard to let go of the past, yet some things are so hard to let go .. I wish my heart could b cold as snow, but its not , this I know..
I try stay away from the violence , I try fight the silence.. I try live in the presence .. This is my life sentence..

I shine out in my own way.. I take what comes day by day.. Pain is something for wich u cannot prepare.. But I love my angels they always there.. They truly care , they give me the strength to stand tall.. They give me the wings to fly after I fall.. They look after me when I'm in danger, they could be there in the form of a stranger.. An enemy .. Spiritually..
Let me start speaking hidden messages metaphorically ..

I c rain , I c sun , on my left wrist it says become one !
Angels are here fear none..
Like peterpan we forever young ..
Shooting star.. Northstar.. They not so far.. Do u know what u are?
There's an angel , there's a demon .. Like u I to was produced through semen..
Freaking u out just a little bit .. Talking to who ? Talking to you ??.is the ocean green or blue.. where are you? .. Trying to catch ur attension?? .. Is this my intention ??.. Or is this my invention?? .. Do u like my vocab.. Never finished matric.. Did rehab.. Life lesson .. Life skill.. My mind was ill .. No, backspace.. I was in space.. There was no gravity.. My very own reality.. Natural high .. Don't ask me why.. Truth no lie.. I'm that guy ..
Not afraid to say goodbye .. Never mind saying hi :).. Grade 11 , but metaphorically I'm in heavan.. Not afraid to hide .. Even though iv got to much pride.. Grade 11 yet qaulified..
I frown , yet I don't drown , keep swimming .. Keep winning .. Keep losing.. Good is never good enough, ..strive for more.. That's what we all here for ..
We all have moments of bad luck .. We all feel stuck .. Behind that slow moving truck .. Enough is never enough ..

The pain beneath ones eyes , is something one cannot disguise.. Yet we can still reach for the brightest of skies.

Hmmm how do I end this .. With a little twist.. Somethings written on my right wrist ..

In loving memory

Hey homey, hey dude, I can't see u , but u can see me, so I'm gonna talk directly to you ..
U can hear, your here, with us all.. Thinking, bru this a little gay..
Please listen carefully to what I'm about to say

I drive , I look right, nothing seems right, I look left , nothings left, my front seat is always reserved for you..
U don't even need to shotgun ..
To the woman u were as hot as the sun, I stood no chance when with you, but when they got to really know you, I think they were amazed, an couldn't help but be phased..
There's ordinary people, an extraordinary people, in the end we all equal, you were something beyond extra ordinary..
A legend in my eyes, its sad that in life there's so many goodbyes.. So many unanswered why's?
They so nobody ever really dies ..
There was so much more beneath your eyes, so much more behind that crazy cool hardcore disguise ..

U were born a champion , a fighter, a soldier , a gladiator .. U showed no fears, your passing has caused so many tears..
I know u hate to see us cry, but bru I never thought ud ever die, I was proud to be ur friend, these words u need to comprehend..

We will forever celebrate your life , ur existence..
No matter how far, no matter the distance.. I'll forever remember u for what u are.. Brendon means brave, brendon means prince, your a descendant.. Always fighting for what u believe , always giving more than u receive.. Loving truly, you were the truth, yourr heart was the proof..

Brendon u gave us all what money could never buy,what a special guy..

Mommy mel has so many children now.. Wow.. Mommy mel needs to remember that unfortunately its not her that gets to choose between heaven or hell.. Brendon your a story I will forever tell..

I have this vision.. That maybe in a way death was ur decision .. Not mentally, maybe emotionally an somehow u and ur brother committed spiritually..
U walked up there on those clouds , u ran through the crowds .. Screamed Zandres name aloud,.. U found him .. An smiled that special smile from ear to ear,hugged him tight, an said bro I'm here.

To me u made this world a better place, till the moment of your death, as u took your final breath , people could judge, u would never budge, u stayed true to you, the person I knew, this world needs more like you, someone so true, always standing by the ones you love no matter what they going through, no matter what u going through..

I was lost in this world, an my own, all alone , afraid of the unknown, no where to go, all the doors were shutting in my face, I'm sure I was on the verge of leaving this place, then u saved me.. After that u would never fail me, the love I have for you is something so hard to describe, u were always there by my side, through it all , stand or fall, all it took was one call.. U make the rest of the world look so small

U loved us all, u were a teacher, more than a preacher , a leader, never a people pleaser.. A female teaser.. Ur warmth stronger than that of a geezer..
There's an greek god called Caesar..
I think u stronger, u may not be here in body, but ur here in soul, in spirit.. A spirit so strong, never broken, your never gone..

My every action, ill do with u by my side, with passion , an know that u watching helping, feeling equal satisfaction .. My every achievement , I know you'll be by my side guiding me, surviving through me, with me, shining through me an all the people u knew ..whatever I do is for me , for you with you ..

You'll forever be apart of me, you'll forever be my homey ..
No matter the path I walk ill never be lonely , because iv got you an your my homey..

I love you



Are you proud?

Iv overcame so many obstacles , broke so many barriers, faced so many fears ,shed so many tears , are you proud??

These thoughts I express aloud, these emotions, I feel are of one amongst the crowd, so many stars in the night sky, each possessing their own special quality, shining above so high, watch them as they float, or do they fly ? ...

Are u a star yet to be born ? .. So I write about the stars in the skies , I write about the pain, an what's beneath ones eyes, the key to ones soul, a story beneath yet to be told ..
I write about love, sacrifice , psychosis, addiction , I always speak about my words been fact an never fiction .. I often have this repetition of contradiction, but I guess that's just reality, I also speak about christianity ..
U see once upon a time I accepted jesus christ as my lord, my savior , once I understood the meaning, I changed my behavior , I allowed his light to shine through me , so these words , these feelings,these thoughts I express what do they mean to me ?..
U don't need to be a star to all , but u can be a star to god, u don't need to believe , but u can still give an receive, u can be good, an live your life the way u should.
I know to many my religion , my emotions, my words are misunderstood , some try rate me , my words may cause some to hate me , an some can relate to me , but the truth is I don't write for anyone to praise me ..
U see someone reads every rhyme, every verse, someone understands every meaning behind every word, behind every rhyme , that someone always takes the time.
So many times iv failed, so many times iv wanted to quit, something I am not proud to admit, the truth is often dark, but once the truth prevails, the truth becomes bright, sometimes even when u don't choose to,you forced to fight, fight for what's right, Fight to escape the darkness of the night,

I have felt love, I have felt true love , I have felt pain, iv almost drowned in the rain, Iv gone insane, yet I managed to come back again, we all told not to live in the past, to leave our troubles behind, yet we cannot help looking back wanting to rewind,but look to your past , then in the mirror , what do u find ?

U will find the you of today, your still surviving an you are okay , so close your eyes, say a prayer, his always there,all the ones u love may not be there, they may no longer care, but his always there..

Open your eyes, look deep into the key of your soul once more, let life take its course ..
Let gods will be done , become one .

To my homeboy in heaven

My bru I could never forget u an all the moments we've been through, the world has no clue, my boy I'll always love you

From nights in jail, to making bail, from nights in danger , u were once no more than a stranger , u became a true homey, u helped open my eyes an show me , that through it all ill never be lonely, we once stared at a wall it read when times are dark friends are few ..we looked left an right an both had the same thought homey I'm here 4 you..

U lived ur life till its full, u lived every moment as if it was ur last, u overcame the darkness from ur past, ur memory will 4ever last

U turned ur life around started new, but I believe maybe ur bro was calling you .. He needed you , he wanted you to see the amazing place his at, I believe that..

I miss u already , really do , ill never forget the moments we went through.. Today the skys are blue , bboy I can't wait to be reunited with you

Brendon I love you

Don

This is me

They say a first impression is something that will last, we are all to be judged due to our past.. Time goes by so fast, yet a first impression is what seems to last.

If u knew me today?? what would u say ?? if u knew me yesterday what would u say? if u knew me today would u stay ..

People change , some go back to their old ways, some have better days, some realize they need to live day by day... for today..

Some realize to the lord they need to pray for the strength an courage for today.
They look back over their shoulder , they see themselves growing older ,..
The past seems at a distance..
There past is what made them today's existence

Goal by goal , they start to re - find their soul , slowly rebuilding it to a whole , a full soul .. Maybe even a new soul , they reaching for something they thought was beyond them , never reachable, never achievable, they feel as though what they were was unbelievable .. What was I then , I came out the lions den , I started all over again , I looked around .. An god was my only true friend .. He was there by me from the beginning till the end , he helped me through .. He helped me through , what u can never c in my eyes , u have no clue .. See beneath my eyes there is a disguise .. Iv told lies , I have so many unanswered why's? Iv heard cries , iv cried , my soul has died, iv broken my pride , iv tried to run , iv tried to hide , I found the sun , I got stuck in the rain , iv felt joy , iv felt pain , yet iv seen the sun shine again

If u knew me today, what would u say??
if u knew me yesterday what would u say??
if u knew me today would u stay ..

Know one truly opens there eyes.. These words, these emotions, my vocabulary is only so wide .. Or is it my vocabulary I try to hide.. Do I put the deepest of my emotions aside?? ..

Do I have something to prove?? .. These words I mix match an move .. Is this for u to approve ??..
Do I run out of words to say ? do u know me today?? Or did u know me yesterday ? Will u come back one day ??..
Is it for you that I pray ?..
Or is for me that you stay ?? ..
When the skies are blue , when the skies are grey , when its night or when its day .. Whether there's stars , or just a moon .. Will I be leaving soon?? ..
Will I be here today? will I be there tomorrow?
will I know you today will I know u tomorrow ?
Will I be with u in times of sorrow ?
Will I be here tomorrow..

So many questions , so little answers.. Can u distinguish between the two??
Can I answer these questions for you?
Can u answer these questions for me?
Will u open your eyes an see that only faith holds they key?
So I'm me today, I'm me tomorrow I may be a different me to today, but that's okay ..

I'm here today.. I know that I'm still okay .. So these questions go as follows ..


If u knew me today?? what would u say ?? if u knew me yesterday what would u say?
if u knew me today would u stay .. if u knew me today would u stay ?

Live today as though theres no tomorrow

My words may impress, my words can depress, my words may cause u to be disappointed,some say my words reveal me to be anointed , I think my mind is disjointed..out of sequence, out of order, illegally crossing a border , this border line .. The border line ..
Oh wait , I found the no entry sign, I found the exit sign .. This way, come with me , open ur eyes an you'll see, open your eyes ull see the place u long to be, over here, come with me ...
Its me , donny,,,..... its me donovan , its me don ..u don't need to listen to feel a song ..
Remember life goes on .. Words remain ..

Do u struggle to express your pain , do u love the rain? Do u feel stuck in the rain? U ever feel as though your going insane ? Yet come back again an again ?? .. U ever jump on a plane ?? ..,.. leave?,... fail,..?come back,..? stand up ,..? stall,..? fall ..??fail,..?? feel as though ur continuous trying is to no avail??...ur crying ..the rain turns to hail,..inside u feel as though ur dying .. U can't escape the pain , ur heart starts to bleed,yet u stand up again, you succeed !!..
U don't give up because this is not something u want, its something you need.. mentally life plants its seed , u can succeed!! All you need to do is believe.. lifes about what u can give , not always about what u can receive ..
So many people we decieve , so many deaths we grieve, what u give is what ull receive, what u believe is what you'll achieve, what u want is not always what u need ..

Sorry if this leaves some disappointed I am not anointed, like everyone else I am unique, trying to reach my peak .. Never giving up , no matter how weak .. Finding the strength to keep going, without knowing..

Have u felt the feeling of a broken heart? have u seen true love fall apart? have u seen the end before the start?..
Have u found ur own form of art??

Look deep inside your heart, everyday is a new start, but live as though there's no tomorrow.. These words I chose to borrow ..