D.O.C

Words could never describe this feeling inside
The pain I hide within my pride, I thought I found someone within who I could confide
I am thankful as it was one amazing ride , I guess its high tide, to deep I drowned she frowned when she saw my other side, the side I try so hard to hide.

Sometimes the hardest thing can be holding back these tears..
I guess I am rather damaged from my past years
DROP a tear, wipe away the tear stand up, face this fear.
Maybe best alone, don’t come near, just stay away, leave me here
Life goes on iv done wrong, I cant change this, accept an just move on

Run an never look back, keep running, leave this place, lost in space, leave without a trace
Where will I go, where am I meant to be, hand me this key, show me my destiny
Guilty I plead, I am so sorry, they say Don don’t worry , everything will be okay ..
You don’t know, you never will, you never have..
Where will this road go, high or down low, life an death , final breath
Hard to digest, what is right before your eyes, hidden in disguise in these words a life sentence I serve?

Look deep, it’s eating me inside, actions so toxic I can no longer hide, look really deep
Look real close, find my key, and unlock it,
I JUST CAN’T STOP IT.
Put a gun to my head ill ask u to cock it
I got so many triggers; I guess its something mental, forever resentful
Trigger my anger in motion; figure I need some kind of magic potion
Before this all turns into a nuclear explosion

Climb into my mind, climb into my brain within seconds you’d be insane, you have no idea what I deal with day by day, try see through my eyes, my vision ,Insanity is my everyday reality, there’s so many things words could never say.

I pray every single day, that my sanity is here to stay, I fight my thoughts day in day out, inside my emotions they scream they shout, running completely wild inside, I hide this in my pride, the person I see in the mirror is the only one within who I can really confide, he knows all my secrets, he knows all my shame, he knows what’s going on in my brain,
God lives in me, God shines through me, but man ate from the forbidden tree, so evil to lives in me.
The truth will set me free?

..Maybe hidden in disguise, behind every letter behind every phrase, a hidden truth, page after page, some written in moments of rage, moments of depression, channelled aggression, hard to make sense??
My thoughts they racing at the speed of light, sometimes its hard to see what’s in plain sight, you may not be looking right?
I feel like a magician, it’s all an illusion a state of confusion putting your focus here, and doing the magic there.
You could never prepare
What did I say??
Something like.. Truth or dare, tempt me, I don’t care, Iv got words that are rare, and “something to spare’.
Thoughts there racing, pause, my letters are losing there spacing
PLAY its okay it’s a new day
Rewind.. What do you find, you can see the words but to the truth you’re blind
I must be a magician, or you just cant follow intuition..

You want to understand me, you never could, I don’t even understand me, maybe you can help me, climb inside my mind tell me what you find that’s if you can survive..
Look real deep into my eyes what do you see, my soul??

My eyes they change it’s rather strange, what did I once say?
Take these words and re – arrange
Look deep into my eyes do you see? Do you see me? Through my eyes, do you see what I disguise?
I probably wouldn’t let you look long enough to get the picture, see the memories
My past enemies

In my blood you will find survival, ambition, you see I follow intuition placed on earth to shock from before my birth
Condom snap, truth and a little more fact, underestimated for years, forced to stand up and shock once I gain courage to face my fears, face these tears

God forgive me, God I am sorry
A descended son, a Disciple of Christ
I failed you once, I failed you twice
Send me to hell if I fail you thrice

My life you chose to save, instead of sending me to my grave
I turned my back on you
Found comfort in evil, you brought me back, u gave me life
For me you still have purpose


God forgive me, God I am sorry
A descended son, a Disciple of Christ
I failed you once, I failed you twice
Send me to hell if I fail you thrice