Every day there's another treasure

Life, death, I'm running out of oxygen, I'm running out of breathe, what do I really have left? .. When I look right, what is it that's still right? .. What's left, everyday I stand strong I fight.. Fight the darkness , hoping to find the light, what's comes in the darkness is unpredictable, despicable, my love is always unconditional, unlike some mines fact, an never fictional, sometimes I may appear very predictable, but before u judge, be prepared for a surprise..there's more to me than what meets your eyes, sometimes uv you've gotta accept the lies, even though you see the full truth through their disguise , no reason to expose their sad truth, their lies are now their beliefs , that's what happens when you lie since your youth, you 4get the truth, everyday look carefully you'll see the proof.. 

So sometimes I enter another reality, I sit I stare, the world around me are they really there? Who is their?.. Can I prepare for this glare ? .. Fact is life is never fair , the world for you it does not care, life does not give u the chance to prepare .. So when I stop an stare , enter another zone , a world of my own , look at the time , look at the date realise how time has flown , look at my family , look in the mirror , see how the world around me has grown , there's a path , a trail, one is dark, a dark dark road, I walked down that path, down that trail, I was never granted bail, I did my time , somehow I managed to come out just fine , do not confuse a metaphor with reality, do not confuse the me of today to that of a guy stuck in a world of insanity..

See once I did my time , I found a new road , a new trail, one that is not a life sentence , one where u don't need to appeal for bail, u see once the lies , become a truth forced to prevail , like a pirate that found his treasure, with joy the 7 seas I sail, this I do with pleasure .. Everyday I discover another treasure.. 

This is my pleasure ..

Money does not buy true happiness

The things money can't buy, are not always visible to the naked eye
We always crave so much more an when we don't get what we crave, we ask ourselves why?

Its not often we stop an take note of what's more than just materialistic, rather a gift based on emotion,based on love , a gift on its own maybe sent from above ..

We so quick to demand , an always want more , instead of been grateful for what we do have an not what we don't, we forget the love around us , an take so much for granted,we believe we deserve a life that's enchanted, but what is true enchantment ? Is it a 10 million dollar apartment ? To me enchantment is more than what u physically posses, more than what u own, more than just a materialistic luxury.. Enchantment is magical its happiness , happiness can come in so many forms , we just to blind to open our eyes see the true gift beyond its disguise, everyday we fed with so many lies an promised to reach the highest skies, we choose to follow , to get where we need we forced to borrow, but in the end this life we achieve , this dream we brainwashed to believe is not truly what we need , don't get me wrong a life mission is to succeed , an on the way u may bleed , but do we ever stop to do just one good deed?..

Before we follow , we should try take the lead, trust is so rare, your lucky if for you someone truly is there, we feel life is unfair and out to get us all, we blame the world everytime we fall..

A gift of love, family an friends we can trust.. This is eternal, Instead of a life based on betrayal, greed an lust , because in the end all that's materialistic turns to dust..

So sometimes we need to take a moment to appreciate what is not always visible to the naked eye ..
Appreciate what's sentimental, emotional , not always physical , but maybe something spiritual, something real, something we feel, some out there don't even know if they'll ever again get to see another meal, this is the life with which they deal ..

So I choose to live a life filled with passion one of inspiration, a life of dedication , put aside my procrastination, Ill get up and change the station , I know the difference between love an infatuation, money can't buy true happiness , love can.

The END

I grew up been the boy in the corner , the odd one out, no one knowing what I was all about, still today , I'm like a stray, think before you play, pray for another day , hope that in a few moments you'll be okay, rather leave than stay, can't snooze , can't lose,maybe I do, an maybe iv just got nothing to prove..
I use to abuse every possible drug, this was the closest thing I felt to love .. I lost my connection with a god above .. A substitute abuser , a sad sore loser , I was no more than another user , with a problem of more than just an addiction , walk past me you'll feel the friction , it may be electric .. A little energetic , another kind of aura ,maybe even a little pathetic ..
If I lost yesterday that's okay, yesterday is over , that's my past, today's a new day, so watch me play , I'm playing today , can you comprehend what I'm trying to say??

Easy to forgive , hard to forget , karma is something that punishes you for what you regret , karma comes back an reclaims her debt .. So be cautious before placing your bet ..
Judge me if u know me today , but if you knew me yesterday , be careful of the words you spray,I hear everything you say..
Like an infection , I could never be the definition of perfection , so when you sleep know that I pray for your protection , In my dreams an yours I still feed you love an affection , that's where we together , till the day I die that's my form of forever , life did take my friend , but my life goes on its not yet the end, this is not a dead end , please these words try comprehend
Your still my friend , ill see you at the end .. Guess you beat me to the finish line , know that without you I'm not completely fine , everytime I think of you the shivers run down my spine , every night I look up I watch the stars shine , to me that's what you've become , your forever young ..
I don't live without you , I only breathe without you , I know your here in spirit , an yes I miss you, you know everything I went through, an homey that's why I'll always love you, you stuck by me no matter what I went through, no matter the things u saw me do , what am I really with out you ,no matter the person I became you saw me as the same , I love you bru ..
U got no clue.

So what is it I use as motivation to succeed?? ..
Who gives me the strength I really need, is it only physically I bleed ??
Who do I love now that I can't use a drug to fulfil that need?
Truth, I'm no longer in love ,I did reconnect with a god above for which I love , but on earth iv only ever felt one love, which also died , I fought, I tried resurrecting that love , that feeling, but it only caused more emotional bleeding, I wasn't prepared , just know i really cared.
Life doesn't ask you if your ready or not, so iv learned to appreciate the ones iv got, not the ones who forgot, so on you iv given up. You won Yesterday.
For now an ever , in my dreams we are together..
... Sweet dreams.....

One of many wishes

I Feel as though I keep repeating myself
I feel like this rhyming could be bad for my mental health, another contradiction , but I think this rhyming is my new addiction ..
In reality, I speak to myself more than anyone else..

I observe , I spy, I have more than one eye , these words are what I serve ..
We don't always get what we deserve ..or do we?
Life is a verb, a doing word..
What I do , do I do it for you?
Do u look back an say 'screw you'?
I think you do
If your vegetarian ,I guess I'm the meat you spit out after you accidentally chew
If you had one wish what would it be ??
I wished for you
If there was any person in this world you could see who would it be?
Only you
Are you truly free?
I need a universal key
As a youngster what did you always wanna be ?
Peter pan forever young!
When u see a shooting star do you make a wish?
I wished for you
Has your wish ever come true?
Eish this makes me blue
When you cut your birthday cake do you make a wish?
This year will be the 9th year I wish for you
Is this all to superstitious for you?
Your only one in a population, so I'm left in a sticky tricky situation
Hidden behind every question is an answer ..

What is it you truly treasure?
These words for you I do with pleasure..
One day these words I leave behind , are they for you to find ? ..
These thoughts, emotions , reality all combined ..
These words in pause , you can't fast forward or re-wind ..
They live forever , they forever young..
>----<3---->
Just because its over , doesn't mean its done.

Judge me now

I use to care about my image , an others opinion of me , so much that I stopped been me , know there's people wondering why they no longer seen me , the reason is because I'm finally been me , when your heading for that place you've so longed to be , when u finally open your eyes an you see , that u can reach your destiny , when your reaching out for one of your many dreams , u gotta find the silence amongst the screams .. As hard as it seems , eventually what once affected you, those that once rejected you, might try re-connect with you.. 

You realise those that never respected you, those that never accepted you , don't deserve to re-connect with you.. 

Sometimes you just gotta do , what's best for you..

As selfish as it may sound , sometimes u need to be scarce , underground , till what was once lost, is now found .. 

You reach out to those in a moment of weakness, a moment when u hitting rock bottom , but ur like a distant memory that's been forgotten , once your back on top , those that stuck by your side , didn't try run or hide , those in which you could confide , those that have seen your good an bad side an stuck along for the ride , they deserve you at your best, not the rest.

Never judge a book by its cover , some books are like no other , some disguise something undercover, you never know what awaits at the end, these words do u comprehend? ..

They say fake it , till you make it, yet I don't pretend .. My actions , my words, my life with yours will never blend..

Who will really be there at the end ? 

I think its those that don't pretend , those that comprehend , those that know the real you..

Love an truth will heal you.. 

Hate an sins will kill you .. 

The devil will always fear you

God is always there he can hear you

My spirit cannot be sold

Let the truth be told, this is what im told, im lucky to have grown this old, my life could be like a game of poker , except I never fold.. My spirit could never be sold.

I have spent days alone in the cold, all my life iv believed id never grow old,  I have loved ones , that ill forever appreciate, I have people out there to which these words they relate, I have people out there to which my name they debate..

There’s people out there that really just couldn’t care less, I always strive to do my best, as iv said before I never did blend in with the rest , sometimes I think these rhymes are no more than a waste of my time, maybe a waist of yours but that’s fine, that’s okay maybe its these rhymes that give me the strength to get through the day.

You  see when I express what I feel ,when im not fake , but real , I somehow manage to deal with the way that I feel.

Words have great power they truly heal.

There’s a saying ‘sticks an stones can break my bones, but words will never harm me’

I’m sorry but that’s only true if you’re trying to charm me, I believe there’s emotional pain in this world that no physical pain could ever compare to, I believe there’s so many struggles everyday we need to get through.

I believe in every lie there’s a part that’s true, and if there’s not it might just become true this may not make sense to you, but somedays can be black and purple not only blue.

I would never seek anyone’s pity do not get the wrong impression, do not mistake my emotions  for a dude with depression, u never know , as I am writing this I may have an erection, or maybe I don’t , I am sure I often speak under correction , maybe I look back at my life an see it as a perfection.

Maybe that lithium injection caused this perfection , maybe I don’t own mirrors because I cant stand the reflection, so I saw visions before my eyes, maybe I saw myself as the devil in disguise , maybe I  believed I could fly an fell trying to touch the skies, maybe I reached for heaven , an found hell..

Yet today I think I may have a great story to tell…

Is the future something we predict?? Does this phrase cause the conflict??

If I am to expose it all , stand tall or again fall, walk before I even attempt to crawl , if I fail, an the days of once rain turn to hail…at least im leaving my trail , succeed or fail.

God grants me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, have u ever tried to take my words and re-arrange? Sound familiar or strange? GOD grants me the courage to change the things I can, there’s a hidden message, what do you see before thee? Sometimes you need to look back into whose history?

And Wisdom to know the difference, these words have been granted.

A seed has been planted never ever take my words for granted…!!!

I have been diagnosed with so many medical terms .. psyciatric terms , spiritual terms , in the past been told im mentally unstable.
years have gone by, im on no longer on medication, in the most amazing phsyical , spiritual ,mental situation..

Because my lord is my salvation

Through whose eyes??

Once upon a time there was a boy he lived a dangerous life … he experienced all kinds of heartache and betrayal.

He lost his mind in 2007 … it was such a pitty he had so much potential.

all his hopes all his dreams gone in a instant … he disappeared for 4 months .. it was rumoured that he went into a state of psychosis

It was rumoured that he would never find his way back to reality.. it was rumoured that he would spend the rest of his life in a home. A mental home.

Four months later this boy returned… doctors, psychiatrists, an nurses believing it was a miracle..

Nobody in the world understood what this boy had just been through.. Nobody understood the visions he saw before his eyes... Nobody understood the thoughts that ran through his mind.. The thoughts he believed …nobody saw the world as he did.. If only they could see through his eyes.. If only his eyes could tell a story..

It was said that he felt a demon with the name of Lucifer, watching him, talking to him, possessing his mind... Asking him to enter his world...

It was said that what he would dream would become a reality...

It was said his eyes changed from brown to yellow... it was said he couldn’t distinguish between who was alive an who was dead even if your living body was standing right in front of him … it was said he did not know who his own father was it was said that he did not know who his own mother was.. His mind was so confused an mentally abused...

When he returned he was not quite the same all he once had, was taken from him.. So much medication built his new personality... but this was not the boy everyone once knew…

Years went by he gave up on everything that once meant something to him... he gave up on life.. Turned to drugs. An it was only a matter of time before he went back to day one … psychiatric ward... this time... they had the suitable medication.. 2months later he found his sanity again...

The fact that he could not accept insanity as a illness led him down an even darker path... he could not come to terms with what had become of his life..

He needed an escape...

Heroin, meth, cat, weed, cocaine, alcohol, sex, this would become his escape.

In the year 2011 he lost the plot ..Slowly started losing his mind once more ... went into drug dealing... stealing

Selling possessions.. Living out of his car.. Fighting.. Getting robbed... Arrested.. Court... it had to come to a stop.. He was forced into rehabilitation...This experience would change his life forever...

In rehab this boy lost his mind .. Once again Lucifer  was back haunting him.. Haunting his thoughts... An appearing in forms of people in front his eyes in the dark of the night..

He got sent away to high care psychiatric facility... An back to rehab there after...

On night in the strangest form he was lead into reading his bible... He came to the realisation that though every bad moment an angel was there god was there.. All his memories came storming back... he realised that in his 1^st psychosis... he went to church... And a week later he did what everyone saw as a miracle came back to reality... he knew that after all he had been through he should be living in a home..Or better off be dead after all the danger he put himself in.

This boy woke up the next day.. An he was healthy.. Had a completely new outlook on life ..

He othed o turn his life around as he did many times before but the difference was this time he believed he would.

This boy, became a man , this man is me !!!